How can I show what is writhing within?
The unknown entity breathing my air,
Revolutions evolve in rhythmical wind,
And drink the blood of soulless despair.
Shadows and pain never ending or ease,
Mindless illusions of freedom are spent,
Truth is compelling to know the disease,
Bring me to ruin and heart will be rent.
Alone with the Angel brings harming to light,
Death swiftly beckons to lure my life,
If only one warned to this serious plight,
I would surely forsake my hold on the knife.
Now plunge it into the damned beating heart,
Feel the blade running cold with delight,
Never older and age not creating its art,
Let go of the burden, walk into the light.
But “wait!” was the whisper cutting my mind,
There’s rivers not dry still flowing with love,
Just because they are far and yet hidden from sight,
Does not mean their light will not shine from above.
Many moons on I sat feeling the warmth,
Grow in my soul no longer forlorn,
Filled with wonder of home and of hearth,
Of the babe in my arms, my first son newborn.
So grateful to time for showing my will,
Overcoming the patterns and aiding my win,
To understand fullness of valleys and hills,
To walk through this world and never give in.
Suicide seems like a way out. I have been through dark times where all I wanted was to die. The world had treated me too harshly and my heart was much too fragile to bear up. I was lucky enough to also have a small sliver of hope that persisted through the darkness and just would not be ignored. I want you to listen for that little spark as well, it may be very faint, it may be very dim, you may even think it is just another illusion. But give it time, let it live and grow stronger in your heart, just give it time.
This world needs you, not just people like you or similar to you, but it needs YOU! I need you, I need you to fight to stay alive, fight to be free of despair and never, ever, give in.